Celebrate with Pride

Can you tell us about your journey on self-identification and self-expression?

When I first started dating Lisa, I was 25 years old, and I had only ever been with men my entire life up until that point- so I really had not given much thought to what label I would identify with most. I had so many people in my life asking: “so, you’re gay now?”. When I would say no, they would say: “okay so you are bisexual then?”.

I felt a lot of pressure from people around me to choose a label, which almost felt at the time like having a label made me more palatable to others - so that they knew who I was. After some time, I just began telling people that I don’t choose to label myself. I explained to them that I simply love Lisa for who she is as a person, and if I had to choose a label that I identify closest with it would be Pansexual.

What has been the most challenging moment or part of the process in identifying as who you are, both internally and externally?

I think the most challenging part was really the external sources. People around me pushing me to fit in to a box so that it felt more comfortable for them. I dealt with some confusion and frustration internally because it bothered me that people struggled to accept the fact that you can love a member of the opposite sex and not call yourself gay or a lesbian. What has been the most fulfilling part of the process in identifying as who you are, both internally and externally?

I think the most fulfilling part has been my ability to push past the critics and really transcend the barriers of normalcy in my relationship with Lisa. It has been fulfilling to watch my own journey in my relationship unfold over the years after feeling a lot of frustration toward so many people who would tell me that this was a phase, or that I would never stay in a relationship with a woman if I wasn’t ‘gay’. Who was your biggest supporter during your journey?

I think my biggest supporter was really Lisa. She helped me work through so many feelings and emotions during the early days of our relationship together that proved to be challenging for me.

What advice would you give individuals who are struggling with being proud of who they are or figuring out who they are?

I think the biggest thing to remember is that you deserve happiness. You deserve to live a life that makes you feel fulfilled and whole- never stop until you do. Don’t let anyone else’s opinions of you get in the way of becoming who you want to be- the people in your life who love and care for you will support you and stand by you. Lean on them.

Where did/do you find the confidence to be you?

I think it has been inside of me my whole life, it just took a little coaxing for it to actually rise to the surface! After many years of implementing positive self talk, I began to slowly learn that I love the person that I am and I am proud of the person that I am. She is ever learning and growing but we all are- and we should be proud and confident in ourselves throughout every stage of our journey.

What does Pride mean to you?

Pride to me means standing in solidarity within the LGBTQ2S+ community - celebrating how far we have come but also recognizing how far we will continue to go to ensure that every person has the ability to choose who they want to love safely and without fear.

What are you most excited about Pride this year?

I am just so excited to be able to celebrate Pride this year in person and not virtually. To stand in the streets and hear the music and feel the love and support within our community.

How will you be celebrating Pride this year?

In our town of Moncton NB, we have a Pride parade that we always attend, followed by evening celebratory events such as performances, music, good food and just amazing energy. We cannot wait!

What is a charity that you feel supported and inspired by?

PFlag Canada because I love that this particular charity is Canadian based, and also that it was founded by a group of parents who wanted to help themselves/their families better understand and accept their LGBTQ2S+ children. I think it’s very important for young children to have support from their families during the “coming-out” period in their lives.

What are the two main things you’d want someone to take away when hearing your story?

1. That making a change/important transition in your life can seem overwhelming, but those feelings of fear/overwhelm are temporary.

2. That you don't need to label yourself. You don’t need to fit into a particular box for anyone. You are allowed to be you and love who you want to love with zero explanation.

How can an ally support the 2SLGBTQ+ community year-round, and not just during Pride?

The best support an ally can give year-round is to always be open to listening and learning from those in the LGBTQ2S+ community.

What inspires you the most and what is your creative outlet?

What inspires me the most is the people I have inspired. It seems cheesy but hearing stories from fellow members of the LGBTQ2S+ community telling me that my story or my content on social media helped give them hope or courage - those moments remind me why I share so openly about my story and my relationship online.

If you were a type of wine, which would you be and why?

You KNOW I would be Rose. First of all pink is my favourite color, and also Rose just reminds me of sweet, airy, floral vibes. All of the good feels.

Can you tell us about your journey on self-identification and self-expression?

I was probably more of a late bloomer when it comes to my queer, Pansexual identity & gender identity. I came out in my mid-twenties; even though I think that I have always known who I was. I grew up in a Conservative Evangelical home, as a firstborn, first generation kid. I felt a lot of pressure to be a “good daughter”, to make my parents proud and to follow rules. There was a lot of control and parameters around who I was meant to be, and how I was meant to behave. When I moved to Vancouver from Abbotsford, I think I started to feel more comfortable exploring the parts of myself that I had hidden for so long. I slowly made more queer friends, experienced queer community and eventually felt comfortable enough to come out to my family. At that point most of my newer friends knew - but I was terrified to tell my family. Luckily for me, it was an awkward but ultimately good thing. My family has been generally accepting, and now I’m married to my wife and identify as non-binary. I’ve had, and will have moments of uncertainty, but I feel so lucky that I live in a place and time where I can embrace who I am fully.

What has been the most challenging moment or part of the process in identifying as who you are, both internally and externally?

Figuring out who I truly am — whether that was my gender identity or my sexuality was probably the biggest challenge. My identities don’t feel binary, and most of the world is presented that way. I struggled to figure out if I was actually was Pansexual, if that was even possible. I think because of my more puritanical background, I wanted the answers to be black and white.

What has been the most fulfilling part of the process in identifying as who you are, both internally and externally?

The most fulfilling part of my identity journey has been affirming my inner child (which is ongoing) and learning more about queer histories and the way queer communities have always existed and supported one another. Even under extremely oppressive circumstances, the resilience of queer and trans folks has always, always been strong.

Who was your biggest supporter during your journey?

My queer friends. I’ve been lucky to have a strong circle of queer folks in my life, even before I came out. It meant that even if I was going to loss my family, I had chosen family to keep me safe.

What advice would you give individuals who are struggling with being proud of who they are or figuring out who they are?

Be kind to yourself. Your journey is your own — whatever pace is comfortable for you is the right one. You’ll get there. There were so many points on my journey that I felt confused or undefined, but I got there.

Where did/do you find the confidence to be you?

Honestly, I don’t know exactly. I was lucky that I’ve been surrounded by folks with strong personal convictions pretty much my whole life. Both my parents had strong personalities, and strong sense of conviction. Even if I didn’t agree with their ideals, I think it instilled a strong sense of self in me. So even when I felt unsure or was navigating difficult things, I had that foundation.

What does Pride mean to you?

It means family & joy. I get to be around queer folks that I love, and I get to highlight the joy of queerness. Something that I feel year round, but it’s great to dedicate a specific season to it.

What are you most excited about Pride this year?

In person events. There’s folks I haven’t seen in a few years and I’m looking forward to reuniting.

How will you be celebrating Pride this year?

Probably some dinners with friends and a bit of nightlife. I miss going out dancing and I hope to rectify that.

What is a charity that you feel supported and inspired by?

QMUNITY - a non-profit that exists to support Vancouver’s queer community through a variety of programs including clinics, peer support and counseling. I actually went to Qmunity when my dad passed away. I was able to access free counselling at a time when I wouldn’t have had the money for that service. It was quite helpful on my journey of grief.

What are the two main things you’d want someone to take away when hearing your story?

I would hope that my story helps someone like me, someone who grew up in a conservative environment, or with immigrant parents see that there is a place for us in queer community. That you can become whoever you want to be, and that there are safe spaces and a whole life to be lived, as authentically yourself.

How can an ally support the 2SLGBTQ+ community year-round, and not just during Pride?

Educate yourself & listen to queer stories, makers and artists. Learn about queer history in your city. Stand up for the queer folks in your life, even in scenarios where they aren’t in the room. Have those hard conversations with friends and family who don’t understand why access to comprehensive, queer & trans informed healthcare is important. Why the rights of queer & trans people needs to be protected and maintained.

What inspires you the most and what is your creative outlet?

I’m inspired by so much — my friends, my family, folks on Social Media. Music, art, nature. I don’t think I could narrow it down to just one thing. My primary creative outlet is personal style & fashion; I also love music — singing is definitely an outlet for me.

If you were a type of wine, which would you be and why?

Lambrusco! Unexpected, unique, sweet but with a little bit of bite, fun loving.

Can you tell us about your journey on self-identification and self-expression?

As a young kid, I always knew I was different from my peers. I didn’t like to play with the stereotypical female toys, had zero interest in boy talk, and cried when I was forced into wearing dresses for picture day. I was a kid who was naturally masculine and who liked to do masculine things. There was a time in my younger years where I even tried to fit into the socialite norms, so I didn’t feel so alone, but that lasted about a week. I couldn’t hide who I was, it became too hard. The reality was, rejecting myself became harder than being rejected by my peers. That’s where sport helped me in ways that I never thought it could. Sport gave me a sense of belonging and allowed me to express my masculine side and even be praised for it. It’s the only time where I felt like I was normal and accepted. My journey in self-identification and self-expression was a lonely, misunderstood path and it has taken many years to stand proud in my own skin. I can now say I am a proud, strong, confident lesbian who loves the person I have become.

What has been the most challenging moment or part of the process in identifying as who you are, both internally and externally?

Telling my father was the most challenging. I came out to him when I was 18 and his reaction was horrible. After I told him, I felt like that kid where I didn’t belong and there was something wrong with me. I cried for days and had thoughts of suicide. I didn’t have much support in my life to begin with so to have my dad give such a reaction, it completely shattered me. I never brought it up again until I was 23 where I knew I could stand on my own and I was ready to let go of him, if he was going to let me go. This time, he had a much better reaction and now fully embraces me for who I am.

What has been the most fulfilling part of the process in identifying as who you are, both internally and externally?

The most fulfilling part about the process was empowering myself to the point where I could stand on my own and have the confidence and live the life that I was made to live and not someone else’s version of it for me.

Who was your biggest supporter during your journey?

To be completely honest, I became my own champion

What advice would you give individuals who are struggling with being proud of who they are or figuring out who they are?

Don’t let people dim your light or take your power. You are in control, because it’s your life. You decide who gets to be a part of your life and your journey. Anyone who discourages your path, does not deserve you. You are made the way you are for a reason and there are other people in the world who can relate to you, like me. I was very much alone, but once I took my power back, everything changed for me. I felt strong, even when I was alone.

Where did/do you find the confidence to be you?

I found my confidence to be me through sport. It appears my sexual orientation did not matter. The only thing people paid attention to was my athletic ability.

What does Pride mean to you?

Having the courage to be authentic and continue to live my truth even if that might mean I might be an outside.

What are you most excited about Pride this year?

Being able to celebrate pride this year in person!!!! I can’t wait to see everyone be their unapologetic selves.

How will you be celebrating Pride this year?

I will be flying around Canada filming a show so I will have the opportunity to celebrate in every city I go to. WATCH OUT CANADA!

What is a charity that you feel supported and inspired by?

The Vocal Minority Charity. I believe when you don’t have a team outside a sports team, a choir is the next best thing. People coming together to harmonize brings a sense of unity and with my wife being a singer who uses music as medicine, this seemed to be such a great fit.

What are the two main things you’d want someone to take away when hearing your story?

You have 1 life. Live it the way you’re supposed to live it and no matter who you might lose in the process of discovering yourself, you will always have yourself. Be your own champion.

How can an ally support the 2SLGBTQ+ community year-round, and not just during Pride?

I lost out on some sponsorship opportunities in sport because of how I identified / expressed myself. So, I would love to see business give more opportunities to the 2SLGBTQ+ community members.

What inspires you the most and what is your creative outlet?

Helping people see their true worth and value through personal training.

If you were a type of wine, which would you be and why?

Cabernet Sauvignon. I’m a strong character who is unfazed by conflict and can easily adapt. I do not get affected by outside forces and people tend to come to me for advice.

Can you tell us about your journey on self-identification and self-expression?

My journey started from the time I was born. I spent a lot of my younger years wondering Why I felt like I was not fitting the social mold laid out for me. The social norms pressure coupled with my lost indigenous teachings and culture made me feel alone and misunderstood in the world. I struggled in my teen years ultimately because of this. Self-expression and self identity are crucial to our inner peace. At some point in my life I discovered this, along with music and creating that made me feel understood, validated and gave me my purpose. Still it was a journey throughout my professional music career to challenge my own self-maderestrictions to become more of who I want to be and express more of who I am without fear. It took some time and struggle, but I can now say on any stage and in any room, I am a Two Spirit Indigenous Proud Queer and I won’t ever take that back.

What has been the most challenging moment or part of the process in identifying as who you are, both internally and externally?

The most challenging part was being closeted in my youth years. My spirit knew who I was all along, but I was living a life and identity that was not truly mine. That was portrayed through my self expression and everyday living. This led to things like depression that was my greatest struggle in my teen years. We can’t neglect or hide our truest self and who we are, this I have learned and come to understand with everything I am. As an young adult I continued to struggle with standing in my own with the utmost confidence in introducing myself especially when it came to my music career. Here there was more pressure for me to put back in to the closet and I was found in a period of time where I couldn’t answer the simple question, Shawnee… who are you?

What has been the most fulfilling part of the process in identifying as who you are, both internally and externally?

The most fulfilling part today, is being able to stand up, open my mouth and beam with pride and vibrance in my voice. I have completely changed as a person when I decided that I am enough and I am meant to be Two Spirit, this is my journey and my purpose and path. My career and my music has changed when this happened for me and I will continue down this path of knowing myself in a greater way.

Who was your biggest supporter during your journey?

My biggest supporter is music and art. Times I never thought I could overcome and it was music and creating that gave me reason and purpose to move forward. Music has been my healing and my vision of clarity along with my culture. In addition I guess you could say in a way that I was my biggest supporter and I think for some of us in this world, we have to be. You have got to show up for yourself every time in every space even when and if you are the only one there.

What advice would you give individuals who are struggling with being proud of who they are or figuring out who they are?

To anyone struggling with being proud I would say to you, you deserve to love and to be loved. You deserve peace and happiness and you are meant for this life and journey just as you are. Don’t ever take that away from yourself. We don’t need approval from those that may not understand the vision of love and you don’t ever need to hide and feel anything other than pride, joy and vibrance. LOVE yourself, you are gifted with GAY.

Where did/do you find the confidence to be you?

Confidence came with time and experience. To be honest, I was tired of living without it. I was tired of feeling like I didn’t belong in a space because of who I was. I was tired to allowing people to make me feel that way. So I started to take back that power by challenging the way I think in those situations. Who am I ? What do I want in this life ? I want to be free and leave behind more than I used up and I want to create and grow as a music artist to my utmost potential. I won’t get those things allowing pressures of anyone or anything dictate my own sense of self. So what I wanted become more important to me than what those around me wanted for me.

What does Pride mean to you?

Pride means a full embrace of LOVE. Love comes as it comes, and self-expression comes as it comes. There are no boundaries and restrictions on how someone identifies and expresses themselves and with Pride we fully push all restrictive boundaries to join the embrace of that freedom.

What are you most excited about Pride this year?

I am so excited to be celebrating in person this year with NYC Pride performing on their Stone Wall Rally site and other iconic Pride celebrations by performing around USA and Canada.

What is a charity that you feel supported and inspired by?

Jen and I like the Vocal Minority being that music is such a power tool to bring hope, life, joy and healing to any person or community.

What are the two main things you’d want someone to take away when hearing your story?

The main take always I hope anyone could learn from my story is 1. Don’t ever give yourself up to anyone or anything. Pride is your power and you are all the power you need. 2. You are not alone. You have a world of pride support, love and acceptance.

How can an ally support the 2SLGBTQ+ community year-round, and not just during Pride?

An ally can support the community by taking an active stance of inclusion. I believe we can all do more and better with using our own platforms to give a broader stage for especially any young 2SLGBTQ+ to know that they are heard, excepted, acknowledged and important.

What inspires you the most and what is your creative outlet?

Creativity gives us hope. Music was my medicine when I needed it most and it saved my life when I needed saving. What inspires me is knowing My growth and platform can be used to put back into the world and that gives me so much life. I am inspired by my self growth and continued journey of becoming. Looking back on where I once was and what I have become makes me want to be ever better than ever before for the purpose of advocating for those that need to know they can also be their own best advocate.

If you were a type of wine, which would you be and why?

If I was a type of wine I would be Rose with a sweet hint and a spicy after hit. I have learned to love my Two Spirits in my personality and self-expression. I come with so much sweet but a heck load of sass.